Last night, Adele forcibly broke her Grammy award in two*, because in her opinion, Beyoncé’s Lemonade should have won Album of the Year. There, the most influential female vocalists of our time couldn’t stop gushing about one another. They shared their voices and tears and simply put, just love for the success the other queen has achieved… And here I am wondering, why it’s so hard these days to just do that? Women need to empower women. Period. Here’s why…
Together, we can only do better
I honestly don’t know where the thought pattern comes from, that in order to achieve a milestone, a fellow competitor has to lose something. Amongst women, and especially bloggers, it’s almost like a silent disease spreading across the internet. If one snags an amazing collaboration, the resentment from other ladies in the business comes in heaps, trying to degrade her success. Why? What if that energy is put towards sharing the love? What if we support her by telling her what a great job she did? Isn’t it the same effort to spread good instead of bad energy? Would creating a network of like-minded women in my niche not be beneficial to all of us?
We can co-exist without competing against each other
Adele and Beyoncé are just the latest example of how female empowerment can look like without undermining your own achievements. Just because there already is a Beyoncé, doesn’t mean there’s no place for an Adele. Just because there are amazing web designers outthere, doesn’t mean that your work can’t find customers, to give you another example. I truly believe that we can all co-exist in the creative (digital) world, without competing and stealing each others thunder!
You need your tribe/ squad/ girlgang
I recently chatted with my friend Meg, who told me about the awesome group she’s in. She and other creative ladies meet every week to co-work together, to bounce ideas off each other and also to forward possible clients to one another, if it would make a better fit. This just blew my mind! No one I know would pass on a paid job to someone else, even though they know it would make more sense. What nurtures this mindset? What if I pass on a client to a blogger who’d be a much better fit and maybe she would return that gesture one day and in the end everyone is better off anyways?!
Success is never achieved by an individual, it takes a village
Have you ever noticed how many people artists mention in their acceptance speeches? It varies, but I never heard one self-praising their stand-out talent without giving credit where credit is due. No movie could be made without outstanding people working behind the scenes. No album could hit No.1 without songwriters, sound engineers and so many more who work their magic in the recording studio. It takes a village to get a movie to premiere and a song to be added to your latest digital mixtape. Acknowledge where you are coming from. Thank a fellow hustler for her advice, thank a blogger for inspiring you. Be aware of the influence, be thankful and mean it.
That’s also why I will not tire telling everyone that Spunkyrella is a labor of love. I listed all of the incredible women, I got to work with on my vision over the years in the blog footer below and created a little love map as well. Your vibe, attracts your tribe
On that note, I also need to mention Christina Topacio – formerly known as Profresh Style and from instant Chipotle fame – who worked so incredibly hard to make her dream a reality. A co-working space for female hustlers and entrepreneurs in DTLA, called Jig+Saw. I never met her in person, but she’s always been so loving and kind online and if that’s not empowering, I don’t know what is.
And that’s honestly what I am missing in the local female community and in the world – so to speak – right now: A collective, a community. Just love ♥
*Update: So all of a sudden it was an honest mistake (read here), still I like to think she wanted to share the award!
(Image courtesy of Christina Topacio, Jig+Saw)